The funniest EU joke since the Nobel Peace Prize

In a speech in London yesterday on the future of Europe, Tony B. Liar let us know that the EU is undergoing its gravest crisis since its formation after the second world war. He even said that some EU countries are undergoing an existential crisis. Maybe, but they have been through worse.

And would that leaving the EU would be "hugely destructive of Britain's interests", and he argued that "our country faces a real and present danger in edging towards the exit".

Leaving aside the last time the same politician warned us against imminent danger, Mr Blair is telling us that outside the EU, Britain (GDP per capita: $35,494) faces an uncertain economic future, much like Norway  (GDP per capita: $61,882) and Switzerland  (GDP per capita: $49,151).  Indeed, without our annual contribution of €15 billion a year, the country would be an industrial and financial wasteland.

What Mr Blair is really saying is that if UK tax payers decide to take back their own fishery and farming policies, plus a host of other measures, he has absolutely no chance of being crowned the El Presidente de la Unión Europea, an idea that has fascinated his wife Slotgob ever since she was put in her place by our own head of state.